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  • How do you call a mother cow that got separated with her baby cow?

    ..de-calf-feinated
    Posted about 5 years ago by justjest
    Average Rating (5.00, 1 votes)

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  • If you're booking a hotel for your family and they ask how many hours you want, the correct answer is always zero.
    Posted over 6 years ago by Ben
    Average Rating (5.00, 1 votes)

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  • A guy walks into a library and says to the librarian, "I'll have a cheeseburger, large fries, and a coke."

    The librarian looks at him quizzically and says, "Sir, this is a library!"

    He lowers his voice and whispers, "So sorry. I'll have a cheeseburger, large fries, and a coke."
    Posted almost 7 years ago by Ben
    Average Rating (4.62, 8 votes)

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  • I'm holding a charity night for people that can't reach orgasm.

    If you can't come let me know.
    Posted almost 7 years ago by Charlotte
    Average Rating (4.60, 5 votes)

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  • A rancher dies and leaves everything to his wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

    Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

    He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

    For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

    One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

    Two o'clock and no hired hand.
    Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
    She quietly called him over to her.

    "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

    Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

    He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

    He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

    "Now take off my skirt."

    He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

    Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
    Posted almost 7 years ago by Ben
    Average Rating (4.57, 7 votes)

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